Very nice! Good characterization and flow. It would've been very easy to lose the reader with the jump in years but I didn't find it particularly difficult. I was prepared to quote the same "grey morning" line, but I see that's been done.
There were a few times I felt the passive past tense "had been" was a wee bit overused. And for me, Edge's final line was a tiny bit sentimental/songfic-y. But don't dwell on my pickiness; this was a lovely fic and I definitely want to see more from you, too!
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2011-08-04 08:29 pm (UTC)There were a few times I felt the passive past tense "had been" was a wee bit overused. And for me, Edge's final line was a tiny bit sentimental/songfic-y. But don't dwell on my pickiness; this was a lovely fic and I definitely want to see more from you, too!