Song Fic 6: The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

[labyrinth2015]

So, I'm done with Avalanche, You Can's fine romance (fade to white on David and Cook, falling back into Cook's bed, kissing endlessly).
 
And that done, I was considering tackling the weighty R!genre, which is kind of de rigeur for us slashers, and which so many heavyweights in this fandom do so well and so hotly - Queen of Slashclionona, I so am looking at you :)!

Of course, the prospect terrifies me, which is rather bizarre, since I'm generally not scared of much IRL, except for bugs, and I have kind of been sexing for almost as long as some of you (e.g. storylandqueen!) have been alive...

Anyway, I thought I would sort of ease into things with a passionate vignette/love song. Originally written in the third person (his face), motherendurance persuaded me to recast it in its current form, as follows:


Title: The First Time
Rating: R for implied sexing
Pairing: David/David
Summary: Three-part vignette, of three firsts
Disclaimer: Not-for-profit absolute work of fiction; fair use of any copyright material; no assertions or imputations as to the actual, real-world characters or inclinations of any living individuals intended. Picture the individuals as mere actors in this fic. Will remove this without prejudice if a cease and desist notice is issued.
Note: For Bobbie, who set this up, and who...liked this.

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, reprise

 

The first time ever I saw your face...

...I saw the sun rise in your deepest eyes, and the moon catch in the hollow of your throat, and your brilliant smile was the endless summer sky above us both.

I met you in the dog days of high summer, amongst teeming multitudes drawn from all over the country. And yet, that day, when I first saw you, somehow I knew that out of the faces of a thousand strangers, a hundred potential stars, it would be yours that held me, that drew me in, that refused to let me go.

And your soaring voice was the gift you gave, to all who heard you, to so many, and to me, oh God, to me.


The first time ever I kissed your mouth...

...And I tasted warm afternoons spent by the lake in high summer, and mornings filled with apple blossoms, and hazy autumn evenings: the taste of your essential self. The taste of my future.

I felt the softness of your lips, the hardness of wanting you, the restraint of holding myself back, waiting for you to be sure of me, and of yourself.

And then you wound your arms around me and kissed me back, your heart beating like a captive bird against my chest, that was there at my command, and I felt my own heart take wing within me and be lost to me forever.


The first time ever I lay with you...

...My heartbeat sped up to meet yours, my breath coming in the gasps that mirrored yours, you breathing all yourself into my mouth and I into yours.

My arms rose to enfold you, my body rose up to meet you, pure and naked in the thick darkness, and my deepest self rose as well, to claim you, to be inside you...

...And I felt my joy would fill the earth and would last until the end of time.

And I remembered, watching you as the lightning of your completion swept over you, and, oh God, over me, the first time ever I saw your face, your face, your face.

 

Comments

[clionona.livejournal.com]

Oh my god.
OH MY GOD.
OH MY GOD!!!

I am choked up, cannot even find words.

...And I tasted warm afternoons spent by the lake in high summer, and mornings filled with apple blossoms, and hazy autumn evenings: the taste of your pure, essential self. The taste of my future.

THIS! THIS! THIS!

You pulled on my heart, just as you filled my senses. I could see, taste, smell everything. Just... GUH!!!

*mems*

One of my favorite things I've ever read. Honestly. Whenever I feel that love isn't real, I will come back and read this.

*bows before your awesomeness*

♥

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

My darling, I was so trying not to cry last night when I read your amazing message, and then I woke up today, and saw that you had actually recommended this on your front doorstep, and I am afraid I am kind of in tears.

You know how you inspire me, how much I love and respect you?

SO THIS FUCKING MUCH.

*tears*

And totally unworthy of the bowing, but so glad it reminded you of love, which is real and palpable, in this and the next world, and is what I feel for you.

(um, except for the hardness part, ha ha *blush*)

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! Glad you found it poetic!

[james-padfoot.livejournal.com]

this. is. awesome with its poeticness and imagery and just plain wowness.

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

And again I'm echoing your shiitake mushroom joke. Love you, boyo! ♥!

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

*blushes* Pixie, thanks so much!

[lire-casander.livejournal.com]

I can't find words. I really can't. So I'll just stay here re-reading this and adding it to my memories to read whenever I feel like I'm not loved, because if there's a definition of love, your fic surely is.

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

Sending you another message (cos we can't have enough of those) to say that you are loved. *hugs tightly and never lets go*

Also: my fic loves you too! ♥!

[archuaddict.livejournal.com]

*speechless

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

*smiles, redux*

[amccoy1972.livejournal.com]

"... the flared lightning of your completion"

how do you DO that? That last sentence just slayed me.

Really good!

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

Heh. HOW: I was just mucking around with Bobbie, and wondered why this song hadn't been done before, and then I realised what the song actually meant (I am so dense sometimes), and the words just flooded out and stopped up against that last sentence, right there.

sonowyouknow. Thanks, bb!

[asweetdownfall.livejournal.com]

Ohhh that is simply gorgeous. I love how passionate and evocative it was. ♥ And the ending line is a killer.

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

Again: to say thank you, dearest, and I wrote with that ending in the distance, a little hazy but like the promise of an amazing sunrise.

[rajkumari905.livejournal.com]

This was breathtakingly gorgeous and perfect and I don't even have words. Just, beautiful. The imagery was so vivid and amazing, and the whole thing was so heartfelt. I loved it.

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

I think I kind of fail at LJ, lol. For the third time, my dearest, YOU MAKE ME WANT TO WRITE LIKE MY BEST WRITING SELF.

[magickaldreamer.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow, this was just so sensual and beautiful, and it kind of almost had a dreamlike quality--I don't know how else to describe it. Very beautiful, though.

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

Again, darling Rob, I was definitely going for dreamlike.

And, got your prompt; want to give me a song to go with, since I hear the muses sing to me these days? *kisses*

[motherendurance.livejournal.com]

Just as good the 50th time as the first darling. Truly, it's poetry.

Thank you for giving me the chance to be a small part of birthing this beautiful meditation...

Much love,
Renata

"I imagine that yes is the only living thing." ~e.e. cummings

"I like my body when it is with your body. It is so quite new a thing. Muscles better and nerves more." ~e.e. cummings

[motherendurance.livejournal.com]

I liked 3rd as well, in fact I have both versions saved to my hard drive. They each have a slightly different nuanced feeling, and they are both BEEYOOTIFUL!

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

You saved them to your hard drive? *blushes furiously* GOSH. That is such a compliment, bb.

[motherendurance.livejournal.com]

Hey bb!

I sure did my dear, and I am still hoping for a word processor doc of the whole avalanche series, including all preludes and asides...

(hint hint...)

That, I want in hard copy:-)

I LOVE your writing!

Love,
Mama E.

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

Okay, darling *sheesh*

Do you have Acrobat reader? Will send pretty PDF, if so.

[motherendurance.livejournal.com]

Hey bb,

I sure do dear!

Do you have my email? If not I'll pm it to you.

Thanks!!!

Love,
Renata

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

Think I have it, dollface, but can send again? Thanks.

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

Thank you, darling, for your insightful beta as always. I liked third person, but you are right, as always. ♥!

The Management Needs To Announce As Follows

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, it seems I stupidly let LJ eat my comments. Um, I love every last one of you, and YOU GUYS MAKE ME NEVER WANT TO STOP WRITING, okay? *kisses everyone*

*I am gonna try to restore them, so you may get slightly different messages twice. Many apologies for spamming!*

[irishdf]

Simply gorgeous. And evocative. And breath-taking. This is what I love best, when words can be used sparingly, and lovingly, to paint a picture.

And here every word is imbued with that sense of reverence and anticipation, of a dream long-held now realized. And one of the things that struck me the most was your use of sensory input, touching on sight, and sound, and *touch*, and scent, and taste. A veritable feast of luxurious imagery. So lovely.

Thanks, as always, for sharing. This was a bright spot in a, shall we say, challenging day. I appreciate it. :)

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

Irish Dee, thank you so much, for your kind words and always wonderful, insightful comments, they so stoke my creative fires, and warm my little heart!

I've had so much fic pouring out of me, narratives tumbling out like written, um, you know, so it just felt right to do this brief, passionate story.

And *hugs* re your challenging day, bb! I so empathise.

[gypsy-ophelia.livejournal.com]

This was lovely, dear. <3

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

Aw, honey; thank you so much! ♥!

[penrith1.livejournal.com]

This was so beautiful it made me cry. All I can say is I felt every word and emotion. Thank you. I have saved as favourite.
I am so glad you are writing for Cookleta.

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

My dearest, I am so glad you felt it, and am so flattered it made you cry ;)

[discothequeshiz.livejournal.com]

You made me cry, miss. Speechless. Amazing! Thanks for sharing!

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

So beyond flattered it made you cry, hon. Thank you.

[discothequeshiz.livejournal.com]

And I remembered, watching you as the flared lightning of your completion swept over you, and, oh God, over me, the first time ever I saw your face, your face, your face. FAVE!!!

[jehane-writes.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I kind of wrote with that ending line in mind, or *towards* it - does that make sense?